home

I have come to a realisation. I want to be home, I crave home. But so often I am escaping my home. Because it's not what I want it to be...yet. Not right now. But it's not going to get there if I'm not there. Even sometimes when I'm there, I'm not there. I'm peering into others "there" through a small, driveway-cracked screen. I know I am capable of transforming the clutter, the not quite right yet. But it requires intentionality, and presence. Which is simple, but not easy. But possible, and that's where I'm at right now. Believing it is possible to get things to where I want them to be. When I look at what I think I want in other peoples pretty pictures, I know I have all of that and more here, because it is mine. I don't want their there. I really love mine, but I forget that when I am not looking around my own house, holding my own things. Even if that thing is a broom. This is what it takes to make my house a place we want to